Oblige
by SpeaksInRiddles
Summary: Akatsuki!kitten!cliché. 'Nuff said. Trying for a somewhat realistic genre-savvy OC. Rather Short Chapters. Fast Updates though. Fast Pacing too.
1. Prologue: No Such Thing as Coincidence

**Summary:** Akatsuki!kitten!cliché. 'Nuff said. Trying for a somewhat realistic genre-savvy OC. Rather Short Chapters. Fast Updates. Fast Pacing too.

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**AN:** First of all, I'm really sorry for not updating for so long. Furthermore, I'm almost as sorry to be posting a new story instead of continuing a chaptered one. My computer crashed. Badly. Whatever wasn't corrupted or plain out lost mostly belonged to the 'Full Out Smut' category, and one or two simple drabbles. I've even lost over 1.700.000 words worth of manuscript, 7 different books divided over three series in total. Some were almost ready. In others I only needed to bridge two or three chapters, but I couldn't until I'd properly outlined the path of it's sequel. Worst was that both my virtual back-up, as my printed copies ended up destroyed. I kept both in our cellar, which is very easily a floor on it's own with 4 rooms, but I had the bad luck of having a combined plumbing/electricity failure. The burst pipe destroyed the paper copies that rested on a low shelf. And a verminly deisolated wire combined with the former, fried the external drive I kept my backup on.

I'm mostly writing this to get rid of writer's block and reluctance to type everything all over again. It's more to get me into the habit of posting stuff again. Moreover, I need to outlign the plots for my ongoing stories again, and rewrite the scenes I'd already written. These chapters will be short, pretty cliché and not all that big on quality, but as I said, it's a stepping stone to ease me into writing again.

**AN2:** ten kittens yes. The Rain Trio is complete.

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**Disclaimer:** If I owned any of this, I wouldn't put it on fanfiction. The only thing that is mine is Samantha Rhôdes, the oc/semi-SI.

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Prologue: No such thing as Coincidence.

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I've always thought of myself as an average girl you know. Somewhat smart, but not all that intuitive. Kind of unlucky too. Not really that pretty, but not ugly either. Some might argue I'm a little overweight, and I sometimes agree, mostly when I see something awesome that I just I don't fit, but all in all, I'm pretty happy with myself. -five kilo's above average is NOT fat, despite what auntie says- I may not be the best I could be, but I'm pretty damn comfortable nevertheless. I like myself. Oh, and I like fanfiction. That's a pretty important thing to know. Most of my them behind the computer is spend either reading or writing it, or browsing TvTropes. [Curse that site!]

I had a pretty active imagination, and my mind can't help but draw parallels between my life and some stories I come across. Wondering 'what if?', perhaps. 'What if that is me?', 'What if I went through that?', 'Would I be able to find such resolve?' Such questions were on my mind pretty frequently, but I mostly dismissed them. Unfortunately I live in suburbia, not la-la-land.

Imagine my surprise than, when I find a box of kittens on my perch. Not just any kittens either. There are ten of them. One is blue. Two have red and black eyes, or -eye-... One has stitches, one is literally half-black/white...

Well, I could continue to list their characteristics, but I'm pretty sure most people know where I'm heading with this. Goddamnit! Since when is my life a bad fanfiction with a cliché plot? This might also just be a weird dream or a freaky coincidence, but it hurt when I bit my finger, and these kittens were definitely not behaving like kittens. I took one of the black kittens. Yep, that was the sharingan. definitely. Not a contact either.

Weren't there supposed to be nine though? My eyes slid back to the box. The Immortals, The Artists. The Uchiha's. Fishface. Than two of the three others had to be Nagato and Konan. By deduction, that should make the orange tabby with them Yahiko.

Well, or Naruto, but with the way those three are cuddling up, I'm pretty sure it's not ramen-for-brains.

I set what I presumed to be Itachi down on the table, next to the box with the others in it, and just decided to test it. "two mews if you're not really a cat. three if you're not really a cat and still have access to chakra... You know what... Screw that. Put me into a non-torture tsukuyomi, if you still have significant access. Better than pantomiming. God, I'm crazy for actually considering the possibility.

The cat obviously gave me a look as if it too was wondering for my sanity, but made two clipped meows.

Coincidence? It could be. I groaned nevertheless. I really am not that lucky. It was one of the rules of the universe. I call it Samantha's razor, as situated between Occam's or Arkham's razor. It didn't matter whether something was likely or not. I'd stumble across the fate that would bring me the most possible hassle. If I was a character in a story, I'd think the author would have it out for...

I looked at the box with kittens again and sighed, realizing I probably was one... A Self-Insert that is. Goddamnit real me! how could you stoop that low? Fantasizing about such things is one thing, acting on it and writing another one entirely. And an Akatsuki-kitten-fic of all things.

In hindsight I am suspicious as to why I came to that conclusion rather fast. I also wondered why I wasn't panicking. Either about being fictional, or having the freaking Akatsuki in my house. I can partially blame it on shock, but I think that a large part of it was also that I believed in the multiversal theory. It was pretty damn likely that multiple me's existed, and it was even likelier that one or multiple of those me's end up living not-so-ordinarily lives.

But still everything has to come from somewhere, and seeing as this is an AKF, I blame another me.

I picked up two-eyed-sharincat again, and went into the kitchen. Filling one glass with hot water and one with cold.

"I apologize for this!", I told the kitten, not really looking at him, "But this tends to be the most common way to swap. Wait here for a second, will you. I'll go to grab a blanket in case it works."


	2. Chapter 1: Or Unfounded Paranoia

**Disclaimer: I do not own this, except for Samantha.**

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"Once again, sorry.", the girl repeated, "Especially if it turns out to be a dud". She closed her eyes for some reason, and held her hand before. Itachi wondered what she was planning to do that she had to repeatedly apologize for this. Moreover, what was supposed to turn out as a dud?

A moment later the reason became clears as she dumped the warm water over him. A tingling sensation crept up his spine, before defusing into the rest of his body. It was neither pleasant or unpleasant, merely strange. With a small pop and a puff of smoke Itachi became human again.

The girl grabbed the blanket laying at her feet, and thrust the hands holding it out to him. About half a minute later, she cautiously opened her eyes. The relief was clear in her eyes. There was also a slight hint of panic in her eyes though.

It only fully hit him moments later. She had recognized me somehow. Recognized us. She had asked him to Tsukuyomi her, and the stoic Uchiha was pretty sure that technique was relatively unknown, especially to what practically amounted to a civilian. Nevertheless Itachi was cautious. She obviously knew more about the situation than him, and hadn't displayed any hostile intent.

The relief had been about him not being naked anymore. The panic was obviously caused by having multiple S-class Nukenin in her house.

No, this girl probably wouldn't pose a threat. Couldn't even.

The silence was somewhat awkward, eventually the girl broke the silence. "I'm going out for a bit", she said awkwardly, "I'm pretty sure the rest of your group wants to be turned back to, but aside from Angel over there, none of them would fit, or even want to fit into my clothes. There's a cheap clothing store at a five minutes civilian pace. I'm not going to make a run for it, but I can understand if you want to send someone with me. For the reason I just stated, I'd recommend Konan."

He adjusted his first impression of the girl. He had thought her ridiculously naive, she seemed to have some measure of foresight though.

Some of his thoughts must have, unbelievably enough, shown on his face. As she continued to explain,

"The identity of the kittens. I had a very clear hunch as to who you were, or at the very least were styled after. The traits weren't fake enough for the latter to be likely though. And it was pretty obviously a possibility I could have continued playing ignorant, leaving you be as you were, but I'd probably mess up at some point, showing I knew all along, and that'd be...", she winced, "... bad?"

That was very much an understatement. Itachi thought, somewhat amused by her choice of words, while maintaining his stoic face. It was very much accurate though. The consequences certainly wouldn't have been pretty to her. She'd have been lucky to die quickly, and it wasn't very likely, seeing how they would very much torture everything she knew about the situation out of her.

In that same rapid-fire tempo she continued, "So... Well... I figured that if I were to help you guys from the start, and make it abundantly clear I don't know how this happened, and be honest about how I knew about you and the possibility of this situation... Well... Either Hidan or Tobi might still kill me, and I'm not to sure if this is still God-complex Pein or not... and how that would affect this... Well... At the very least I'm less likely to be killed or tortured if I'm useful. I'd still like to go through the brunt of the explanation only once though... Hence why I need the clothing. If they're cats they can't ask relevant questions that might convince them otherwise. As men...", She blushed again, "Well, I'm enough of a prude to not be able to concentrate when there are naked people in the room."

An awkward silence fell again, "Very Well", Itachi stated, after having repeated those words in his head at a reasonable pace. "That is satisfactorily reasoning. We wouldn't want for you to be... distracted.", he grimaced slightly at the mental image. Go clothe Konan.

"On it", she squeaked, nodding fiercely, and practically flew down the hall.

Itachi felt a headache coming up.

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**Because really, as I've stated in the previous chapter, it was logical to think this either a prank or real. Seeing how she ruled the prank out... Well, unless this was a trollfic. But seeing as this is practically a SI... Name and family circumstances aside... It'd be like trolling myself, which wouldn't make any sense of all. **

**For that matter, why doesn't anyone ever really freak out? I mean, most or either 'OMFG AKATSUKI! Okay accepted...' or 'OMG! Mass Murderers! I will treat them like idiots nevertheless, and attempt to hide more than I led on from the professionally trained Assassins.' Like NO. Really. Normal people shouldn't be capable to keep their calm and a poke face in the face of that. Unless it's the silence [SHOCK] before the storm. That'd be either very, very stupid or very, very suicidal. I like to think I'm neither.**


	3. Chapter 2: If only

**Disclaimer: **No ownage detected. This meatbag will now terminate her actions of conveying the blatantly obvious.

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_Oh Gods, oh Gods, oh Gods._

I was practically hyperventilating. Some of it could be due to my sprint to the living room. Most of it could be contributed to the S-class Kittens though. On one hand I was glad I was right, and not all that insane for accepting the possibility that the kittens weren't kittens so easily. I was sane! On the other, Goddamnit! I had ten S-ranked criminals in my house. Semi-magical criminals at that. Most of whom could kill me with a mere thought, or rather, without it even. I was scared out of my mind.

Seriously, I almost wet myself. I'm surprised I didn't faint while standing before Uchiha Itachi. A pacifist he might have been, but he was still a professional assassin, and damn good at it too. He is seriously scary. I mean, he looked younger than me, and I was a baby-faced 22-years-old. Sure, he was around 19 at the age of his canon death but... Well... Looking young only made him scarier, because holy fucking shit, he was able to achieve all of that despite his age on top of his illness and blindness. It never quite hit home, reading it in the manga. It had been stated of course, but pretty much everyone not really-really old looks young in those... But Holy Ass-licking Bitch, I had still been kind of really rather hoping I was just crazy and over-analyzing things, but he was here -and real- and really just oh freaking shit, shit, shit...

I tend to mentally ramble, if you didn't notice. Thoughts going at the speed of light. I mostly compensate for it by speaking as little as possible, but the above really was just a run-on stream of conscious I just happened to mentally punctuate in order to not break my brain. I think I'm panicking, really, and it just happened to kill my brain-mouth filter too. Why am I telling you all this?

I walked towards the table, planning to take the only girl of the bunch out with minimum fuss, but of course it didn't work that way. The two cats at her side hissed, and I withdrew my hand as if struck. Oh Gods, this was nerve-wracking.

"Ehr... I really am sorry", I squeaked, "But Uchiha-san has agreed that'd be better for everyone to turn back and be clothed first. To do so, I need to go to a nearby store first, seeing as none of my clothing would fit any of the males in any possible meaning of the word. The outfits would still be pretty simple, but...", I trailed off, "Anyway, none of you will probably trust me to go on my own and not raise a ruckus... And since anyone but a female would have to go naked..."

I blushed again, and shrank a little, finding the floor to be very interesting all of a sudden.

"That is...", I muttered hesitantly, fiddling with my fingers, "Sorry if I acted presumptuous... But would you mind, Angel-san?"

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**AN: **For those of you who hadn't noticed yet, this is rated T for Sam's potty inner voice... Well, THAT, and Hidan, who curses out loud to go with it...


	4. Chapter 3: Questioning Roles

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Naruto-verse, the Akatsuki nor the kitten-idea. Samantha Rhôdes is mine though...

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Sometimes you just have one of those days. Nothing goes right, the world seems out to get you, and the worst thing is? That gut instinct that tells you it will only get worse.

Konan felt like she was having one of those days. Certainly, while she would eternally be grateful to whatever Force brought Yahiko and the, back to live, she really rather would have liked to to not be a kitten, EVER.

She turned a glare to Tobi, the one who started this whole mess. Oh, she knew he was more dangerous than he appeared, he had killed her after all, but even SHE knew it wasn't a good idea to insult the gods, when your main technique is called 'Kamui' of all things. In the old tongue it had literally meant 'divine being', whereas currently it referred to Their might and majesty.

Apparently, They had not been amused...

...

... Which led to this situation.

Well, at least it hadn't been raining. Being a kitten was bad enough, looking like a drowned one would have been even worse.

_Irony was such a bitch._

At one hand she had been glad that their new host knew of a way, albeit a temporarily one, to turn back. But why did it have to involve dousing someone in water. Sute, she looked like a drowned person now, instead of a drowned kitten, but for someone who lived in a place it always rained, she remarkably hated feeling wet. Personally, she blamed it on her origami techniques.

But nevertheless, things had gone well for a while. While the short woman [_girl?_] with her wasn't Konan's size, the civilian did tend to buy clothes a size to big. When asked about it the girl had reluctantly admitted that she preferred her clothes 'baggy and form concealing'. The fact that the girl had specifically added the latter worried the kunoichi, but when she pressed about it, their hostess had admitted than it was partly out of habit, having always bought her clothes a size to large in her childhood, to allow her to grow into it.

This and the fact that the girl had proclaimed to be gender-neutral. She didn't mind being a girl, and wasn't particularly a tomboy either, but that was it. She simply didn't care if she was seen as 'one of the girls' or 'one of the guys', and her clothes tended to reflect that.

Konan hadn't detected any falsehood in that, and relaxed slightly. False alarm.

_Truly, Such. A. Bitch._

On their way back, it had started to rain. The first few drops didn't do anything, but less than a minute later, she was thoroughly soaked, and buried beneath the bags she had carried.

The girl once again apologized profusely, this time for not properly warning her that cold water was a likely trigger to revert forms, and taking her out when she should have realized it might rain.

Konan was honestly getting tired of it, and she issued a soft yowl.

Couldn't the kid just grow a spine already? It was almost like she was the small, defenseless animal of the two.


	5. chapter 4: 'Why Me'

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sadly. It'd be pretty awesome if I did.

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I was trembling by the time I got home. I was wet, tired, stressed, and slightly sore from carrying the bags in such a way I could comfortably hold Konan.

Comfortable for her that is, those bags cut off the bloodflow in my arms.

I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door, but I have to admit I kind of expected it to turn out for the worse.

The kittens had been surprisingly well-behaved. When I looked into the living room, I also saw they also weren't quite kittens anymore.

I squeaked as I connected the dots, and threw the bags into the room, quickly turning around and running upstairs. It was only when Konan dug her nails in my skin, in order to not fall off, that I realized I was still carrying her.

A strangled noise escaped my throat. Her claws didn't actually hurt that much, but it very much reminded me that all of this was _real._ However weak, it had been the push to fully destroy the dam I had thrown up.

I carefully put her down on the bed again, and softly repeated "Sorry" again, not quite trusting my voice not to break were I to speak louder. I scrunched up two sets of clothes, and put one set, underwear, a dark grey hoodie and a baggy black set of trousers down on the bed, along with the towel. The trousers probably wouldn't reach her ankles but...

Ah, rambling again. Zipping it.

"I'll be right back", I mumbled not quite as much to her, as at her. "I'm going to get a basin with hot water"

I could describe how I opened the closet, took a basin and went to the bathroom to fill it, but at the same time, it just happened. There wasn't really anything special to the action.

Soon I was back in my room, trying not to spill the water. I carefully set it down.

"I figured you might want some privacy Angel-san", I stated softly. "I'll change in the bathroom."

I didn't wait for an answer, and once I got there, I locked the door behind me, and the moment I knew I was alone I sank to my knees, my frame wrecked by sobs. By some miracle, I managed to keep the sounds to a minimum. It was just me and my shuddering body.

I hid my face in the towel I was using for my hair.

_'Why me?'_

As expected, an answer wasn't forthcoming.


	6. Chapter 5: Stalking report, coming up

**Disclaimer: **As I'm clearly young, female and European, it's pretty stupid to think I'd own Naruto. Check your facts, will you?

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What the girl didn't realize however, is that she wasn't as alone as she had thought. Even if she had acceptable levels of caution for , and pretty reasonable reasoning, Itachi hadn't been about to let the girl out of his sight.

Or rather Zetsu's.

The Akatsuki mostly consisted of professionals after all. Why the fuck would they just go around trusting someone they never met before, who clearly knew more about them than she should. For now however, they played along with it. There was no need to make hasty decisions after all.

Or as the one true exception, Hidan, would have mockingly put it: 'Ninjas, _Bitch_. What did you expect?'

Her trip had been genuine though, and while he had been about to interfere when it had started raining and Konan had transformed again, she didn't seem to have had any plans to take advantage of that fact to get help, and went straight back to the house after picking everything and the kitten up. She was in luck that he realized he might change back too, were he to come in contact with the rain. Otherwise she wouldn't have been left alive long enough to even proof non-hostile intentions.

In fact, hadn't it been for the fact that he had signaled the group before she entered the house, by flaring his chakra in a certain pattern, she still would have died right there and then. She had put Konan into a vulnerable state after all, after isolating her from the group in unknown territory.

Both Zetsu's had rolled their eyes at what followed their return though._ Yes,_ that was including the white half. Honestly, such a prude for a girl her age.

After she broke down in the bathroom , Zetsu decided to just go brief the others. It was clear that this girl, despite was little to no threat. Even if she somehow managed to gain enough bark to even try a bite, there were nine fully capable ninja in the house. She wouldn't stand a chance.

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**AN: **For those who noticed the slight discrepancy in some statements stated in this and the first chapter: I know my maths. It's a plotlead, not a typo or miscalculation.

Only a single update this time around. Tuesday's are my 'off' days, and I used it to get to the rewriting of one of my lost stories. I had already penned a rough timeline and the character sheets back down, but I refined the former, and renamed some of the minor characters, whose name I'd quite frankly forgotten and managed to actually rewrite about 15 pages worth of stuff. It still isn't much, but it's a beginning. It's may be pretty cliché fantasy novel [I freely admit that], but it's one close to my heart and muse, was structurally sound, and I still had one of two pages of notes on the bottom of one of my desk drawers.


	7. Chapter 6: Filling a Freaking Transition

**Disclaimer: **SpeaksInRiddles owns nothing. Except Samantha perhaps, seeing how she's a figment of her imagination mirroring what her reactions probably might be.

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Fuck. I am freaking out so freaking bad.

Of course I'd been freaking freaking out all along, but just when I freaking think I might be getting freaking slightly less freaked out, I freak out all over again.

Pokerface, where have you gone? I've never needed you this badly. Zen. Inner Calm. Counting to Ten. Breathe slowly now. Or, you know what, just breathe at all. That'd be really, really nice, instead of not doing so. Think Sam. What would Pinky Pie do?

I paused, realizing what exactly I just thought, and face-walled.

I don't even like My Little Pony! It might have a somewhat decent plot-line, but that doesn't take away the fact that they're technicolor ponies with annoyingly high-pitched voices. I'm really not trying to diss it or anything, but I just have very little tolerance when it comes to audio. My surrogate-grandmother still delights in telling me about that one time in kindergarten I beat the snot out of this kid, because he had this high-pitched whiny voice, and I just snapped, yelling something along of the lines of 'Poopy is supposed to get out of the behind not the mouth!', before tackling him and trying to strangle him.

Of course I was admonished for it. To this very day however nobody ever managed to talk about it with a straight face. Even Jack and his parents admit it's pretty damn hilarious in hindsight. Even back then I had been small for my age, The bean as opposed to his beanstalk. I was two. He was three. His voice even became really smexy later on, after puberty had worked it's wonders.

How did I even get to this topic in the first place? Hadn't I been freaking out just moments ago?

Ah... Well... It was a mixed blessing at least. On one hand, my face was tomato-red from having to recall that awkward, awkward time. On the other, my face wasn't tomato-red because my head was about to explode on top of forgetting to breathe.

Taking one last deep breathe, I opened the door and hesitantly stepped out. Moving down the corridor I took a glimpse into my bedroom, the door of which was open. Soggy clothes, check. Used towel, check. Empty room, check.

Konan probably had gone downstairs already. I did take my sweet time after all.

Once again I stood in front of a door.

Once again I couldn't really bring myself to open it.

Feeling decidedly foolish I did so anyway, all the while mentally railing against it. Momentarily I mused that Pottermore should have made me a Gryffindork instead. I still haven't found the part of me that is ambitious and cunning instead. And unfortunately the common sense and survival instinct I did have, have apparently abandoned me.

I stepped inside, eyes most decidedly on the floor.

"Ehr... Hi?", I offered weakly.


	8. Chapter 7: Meep?

**AN:** I stupidly overworked myself, trying to juggle too many things, and it resulted in weakened health, causing various ailments. This is about the first day I'm not delirious. Sorry for the late update. I know it's shorter than usual, even by my standards, but please put up with me. m(_ _)m

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone but the Samantha Rhôdes portrayed in this story.

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Yeah, those were the words that left my mouth upon entering the room.

I flushed again, feeling sooooooo fucking lame.

It seems to be becoming a habit.

I fidgeted, "Where do you want me to start?", I enquired,staring at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, and honestly having no idea where to begin myself.

"By this point I can't even pinpoint what the beginning is, let alone where to start", I murmured softly, not quite realizing I said that last bit out loud, until it had already left my mouth.

My blush deepened.

A HABIT I tell you.

An awkward silence ensued.


	9. Chapter 8: Head'full' and the Hen

**AN:** My brain really turned off at some point. This scene did NOT want to get written. I suppose my brain was trying to tell me that it just couldn't comply. I think I listened in a way?

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

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I was pretty sure the following conversation was pretty enlightening. I mean, seeing how I wasn't killed, and they agreed to behave, it must have been.

Too bad I couldn't quite focus enough to remember what was actually said.

I tried to remain somewhat calm in the presence of the Akatsuki, I really did, but my mind kind of really rather blanked out after I saw Hidan 'face to face'.

'Why?', one might ask.

Some might credit it to me being a fangirl, which I am most certainly not. Especially not Hidan's! The guy scared the ever-living crap out of me, even back when he was a fictional character, let alone the idea of me meeting him in real life...

And I guess the last part does kind of figure... But...

Well, how to say it, this is hard...

Putting it to words might be easily manageable, but I still have trouble wrapping my head around it.

No pun intended! Really!

But either way, I probably need to explain.

Whatever force it was that brought the Akatsuki here, it had a sick sense of humour. Those who were death at the point of the timeline in which they were brought here, where brought back in full health, those who were alive, well, weren't.

That is to say, they were brought back in the state they were in, at that point...

Which brings us back to Hidan, the-guy-who-couldn't-just-bloody-die even when his head lost his body.

I mean, on one hand I was grateful, really, because he couldn't scare the 'living' out of me anymore. On the other hand, it was really rather freaky. It was horribly fascinating in a twisted kind of way, but for the most part my brain just shut down.

I gave the group a pleading look. "Can I poke it?", slipped out of my mouth before my recovering mind could filter my thoughts. Once I actually realized what I said though, I clasped my hands in front of my mouth.

Oh, if only the ground would swallow me...

I moved the position of my hands slightly, and buried my face in them.

'Just kill me', I thought, but after my last slip, I was shocked into awareness enough to NOT say that out loud in current company, afraid someone might take me up on the offer.

"I didn't just say that, did I?", I asked weakly, not really expecting a reply.

The stares were enough of an answer anyway.

Fuck. My. Life.


End file.
